DoozieLife

Well, let me see…  My personal life is like a word problem, so let’s see how good your math skills are!  FYI, nicknames are used in place of the kids real names, at least I try to, in order to protect their privacy.  I am 41 years old, and the parent of two girls and two boys.  My oldest two children are from my marriage which ended July of 1999.  These are my daughter Sissy and son Bubba.  Sissy is twenty years old, just moved out into her own apartment (WOOT!) and goes to school and works for a nanny.  She used to kind of be my nanny, but since I wasn’t paying much, she found a nice family who rewards her hard work with actual money.  She has a lot of medical issues, which kind of dominated our life the past few years, but we are hoping things are slowly getting better in that regard.  Bubba is 17 years old, and is my work in progress.  He has had a rough few years, including being ran over by a truck in November of 2007, and we currently have a goal for him to take his CHSPE (basically, diploma equivalent) in October.  Junior College will hopefully follow in the spring.  Our biggest challenge with him is to make him feel as though he has a purpose.  He has had so many disappointments, and the accident took away his greatest love, which was football.

My youngest two children are ’lil Bubba  and baby Troll.  ’Lil Bubba’s dad and I dated for a couple of years soon after I left my husband.  ‘Lil Bubba was born while I was in the Army (my self-imposed post-divorce plan to get my self-esteem back).  Unfortunately, his dad couldn’t step up and move out of his mommas house and make a family with us, so despite my best efforts to get him off the apron strings, it never happened.  Now, we are good friends, he is a good part-time dad… but he still lives with his mom and can’t hold down a job, making me fight tooth and nail to raise his son not to follow in his footsteps.

Soon after my oldest son’s accident in 2007, I began dating a wonderful man who worked across the street from my house at a boys home.  I believe in monogamous dating, and I don’t believe that sex out of marriage is a crime.  Now, my best friend does not follow the monogamous dating lifestyle… ugh… but that is another story.  Now, when my son came home from the hospital, life was incredible stressful.  He couldn’t walk, had one arm in a cast and both legs in braces, and was confined to a wheelchair.  He came home on November 13th, and the first few weeks were 24/7 care for him.  He had to have help using the restroom, wiping his bum, cutting his food, all the things we take for granted.  I had to do exercises on his feet because he had nerve damage, and you had to rotate his feet to prevent them from becoming stuck in one position.  Needless to say, my stress level was thru the roof.

When I met (really met, after of years of hello’s and waving from across the street) my to-be fiance, it was such a relief.  Eventually, my son could be left overnight, and I was able to get out of the house for “grown-up” time.  Of course, since I hadn’t been seeing anyone for quite a while, we discussed birth-control.  He told me how he had been married befoer, and they were unable to have children, due to issues on his end of things.  Well, as my girlfriend said…. if there was one viable sperm in that man’s body, my fertile myrtle egg would be the one to track it down…  And so, I got baby number 4.  Now, she was a gift for all of us.  Her father, who thought he would never have children, who felt he was less than a man, had his life’s dream fulfilled.

So now, my life is on a new track.  We are a blended family in every sense of the word.  There are many challenges yet to be faced, and sometimes I have a hard time trying to wrap my head around the idea that I will not be done raising children until I am 60 years old.  I am afraid at times, wondering if I am up to the task.  My fiance has serious back problems, and will eventually be unable to work.  Can we make it through that?  Can I create a successful business for myself?  And will my children be happy with the choices I have made, and will make in the future?  Only time will tel, but it is a journey I look forward to wholeheartedly.